Despite being a taboo topic for religious or cultural reasons, medical professionals would argue that sex should be a normalised topic, especially for partners that are thinking of bringing their relationship to the next level. It is more than just asking for the sake of knowing someone – asking key questions can let you decide if this is a safe relationship that you would feel comfortable to be in.
Regardless of where you stand in the conversation, most people inevitably have to address the elephant in the room when looking for an intimate relationship with their partners. Knowing the right questions to ask and the reasoning behind each question can smoothen out the conversation and help you learn the proper information for you to make your decision while protecting yourself from the potential dangers of leading a sexually active lifestyle like sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs).
Whether it’s with someone you’ve known for some time or when you have a new sexual partner, the best thing that you can do to keep yourself protected is to know more about their sexual health, and you can do so by asking them the following questions;
Were they tested for STDs and when did they last have the test?
This is an important question to ask your partner because their answer will determine how you should go about your relationship. Before engaging in sex with your new partner, make it a point to ask them if they have been tested for STDs in the past, specifically for gonorrhoea and chlamydia, as they are the most commonly transmitted diseases.
If your partner says a confident yes, follow up by asking them when they were tested. If it hasn’t been more than a month and they haven’t had sex with anyone since then, their STD test results would still be fairly accurate. But if they’ve have been sexually active with a new partner or with multiple parties after they got tested, it is recommended to wait out for at least six months because there are other diseases that take that long to manifest or after they have taken an STD test to show that they are safe from any sexually transmitted diseases.
Are they having sex with other people?
More often than not, a negative result from an STD test is medically accurate. However, it’s not a guarantee that you and your partner are safe, especially if either one of you is engaging in sexual activities with other people at the same time. It is often believed that monogamy is the best protection against STDs, which is why you should ask your partner if they are sexually involved with anyone else aside from you.
If the both of you are in a monogamous relationship, an STD test before having sex would often suffice. But if you’re just in it for the sex, you should establish rules and practices with your partner to keep the both of you protected, such as always using condoms.
Are they willing to have safe sex?
Establishing rules to keep yourself protected is one thing but getting your partner to agree is another. To make your rules effective, you have to make sure that your partner respects the agreement to have safe sex. There is a need for you to be specific in the conversation as what constitutes safe sex can differ from person to person – some people believe that oral sex without condoms is safe, while others would think otherwise.
You and your partner need to be on the same page when talking about safe sex so that there are no broken boundaries when engaging in a mutually consensual sexual lifestyle. Regardless of opinion, it is better to err on the safe side and take things slow rather than rushing into things and dealing with the fallout of contracting an STD.
Conclusion
While sex comes with a lot of benefits like increased intimacy and trust, it also has a lot of risks associated. Thankfully, these risks can be mitigated with proper conversations and preparation from both parties. Get tested for STDs on a regular basis so you can keep your health in check and get access to treatment when necessary. It doesn’t just keep you safe, it also helps protect your partners and your loved ones around you.
If you’re looking for a testing facility where you can get yourself checked, book an appointment with us at Elyon Clinic. We provide STD testing in Singapore, as well as HIV testing, HIV PEP, and STD prevention. Call us today at +65 6802 7208 to learn more about how you can protect yourself and your partner.
